


Whole

by ThatWeirdSkittle



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 15:18:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11512065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWeirdSkittle/pseuds/ThatWeirdSkittle
Summary: Inspired by the prompt “We were just pretending to be lovers, but I’m not pretending anymore.. I need to know if you feel the same way.”





	Whole

**Author's Note:**

> I know Harry Potter fanfiction is a bit outdated, but I've been writing more for old fandoms lately and thought I'd share with y'all. 
> 
> This takes place in a sort-of AU where a lot of things went right for the Death Eaters. It's implied, but not strictly touched on in the fic.

You sat in Draco’s room, pretending to read one of the books that he had left lying around. It was a Dark Arts textbook that he had no doubt lifted from Snape when the man’s back was turned. It was only a matter of time before the professor noticed and came to reclaim it, all thunder and anger. 

Draco was pacing, a hobby that had taken up much of his time recently. He paced first one side of his bed and then the other, before pacing in a U shape to make sure he paced every bit of exposed floor. You thought to ask him what was ailing him this time, but he seemed keen on continuing to pace, and so you elected to let him.

“It’s just so stupid.” He said finally, dropping himself bodily onto the chaise at the foot of his bed. You hummed sagely and turned another page in the book. This page was mostly redacted with dark black ink, solved easily enough with a small cleaning spell.

“No really.” He said after a pause, turning to look at you, “It’s bloody stupid.” Realizing that you weren’t going to get out of this conversation, you set the book down and turned your full attention to the pouting blonde boy who seemed so desperately to need it. 

“What is stupid, Draco?” You asked. Draco made a face as if realizing for the first time that he had been pacing wordlessly for upwards of an hour without telling you what was going on in his head. He seemed to struggle with this thought for a short moment before deciding to discard it and tell you anyway.

“This ball. You’ve had your debut. I’ve been presented to the Death Eaters. Why on Earth would they need another ball for us?” He asked. The disdain in his voice was obvious. Normally this would be an issue quashed by his father. Lucius did not look too kindly upon Narcissa’s excessive parties, but he was behind her on this one. Draco had gone to him the moment he was informed of the plans being set in motion only to be informed that it was too late. 

“We’re going to be of age, Draco, of course your mother would throw a party. If Narcissa didn’t do it,  _ my _ mother would, and you don’t want that, now do you?” Draco shivered at the thought. He remembered far too well the last time that your mother had been in charge of throwing a party. It was lively, that was for certain.

“Yes, but requiring dates? For a  _ birthday _ party?” Draco was intent on complaining, so you gave up on reasoning with him almost altogether. 

“Draco, we told our parents we were courting, remember? All that messy arranged marriage business we wanted to get out of?” Your last ditch effort seemed to ring a bell and a look of recognition flashed over Draco’s face. He relaxed into the chaise, satisfied with your answer to his concerns. You laughed.

“You thought you’d have to invite Pansy.” It wasn’t a question, but Draco also didn’t answer. Pansy wasn’t exactly his concern. He was more worried that  _ you _ would invite someone that wasn’t  _ him _ , not that he would ever admit to that. You huffed.

“I’m offended, Draco. I wasn’t your first thought?” You were. He wanted to tell you that. Of course you had been his first thought. His only thought. He turned and gave you a look of annoyance that was enough to quiet your teasing, if only for the short term. There was a quiet knock on the door and a house elf entered the room to deliver a plate full of pastries and a message from your parents asking you to be home before dinner. You sighed and took a pastry, sliding a bookmark into your place in the Dark Arts book.

“I suppose I’ll go before my mother shows up in your fireplace. I’ll see you tomorrow night.” Draco grumbled something that could have passed for a goodbye and then you were gone, home in time to eat with your family and discuss plans for the party the next day.

A Death Eater party was a spectacle to behold. Pureblood families spared no expense, left out no luxury. The Malfoy Manor was beautiful with witch lights illuminating the front lawn, twinkling as the peacocks strutted below them. Your family had elected to take a carriage to the Malfoy Manner, as it was considered rude to floo into a party. (You doubted that Draco would mind if you used the fireplace in his room, but it was a night for extravagance.) 

You stepped out of your family’s carriage in a dazzling silver dress that clung to your curves and shimmered as you moved. Your hair was pulled up into a curly updo that framed your face on one side, pinned up on the other with a glittering emerald serpent clip that Draco had given you for a birthday long past. Lucius and Narcissa met you at the carriage, greeting you and your parents. 

Lucius took your hand as you stepped down from the carriage, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“Radiant as always.” He said with a smile, bowing slightly. 

“Why thank you, sir, and you look rather dashing, if Narcissa doesn’t mind me saying so.” The Malfoys laughed and Narcissa pulled you from her husband into a hug.

“Oh darling, you’re far too kind to the old man. You do look marvelous. I’m sure Draco will be happy to see you, if he ever escapes his aunt.” You exchanged kisses on the cheek with Narcissa and then continued on to the Manor as your parents started talking. You found Draco quite easily, as he was trying to struggle away from Bellatrix as she attempted to straighten his tie.

“Draco, stand still.” She insisted, yanking the boy by his shoulders as he squirmed, “Your tie is crooked.”

“It wouldn’t  _ be _ crooked if you would just leave me alone.” He insisted. You laughed at the pair and approached them, separating them by pulling Bellatrix into a hug.

“Oh, let me handle him, Aunt Bella. You know he only makes a scene because it’s you.” Bellatrix hugged you back and made a noise of agreement. You fixed Draco’s tie and gave him a look that begged him to stop starting fights with his crazy aunt the night of the party. Draco looked good in a smart black suit with green lapels. Together, the two of you were the face of Slytherin excellence. 

“You look good.” Draco said, once his aunt had finally settled down and stormed off to attack some other aspect of the party. You raised an eyebrow and twirled in front of him. 

“ _ Good? _ Maybe I should have brought Blaise as my date instead.” You teased. A pit formed in Draco’s stomach and he took a slow breath to steady himself. 

“You look amazing, you narcissist, and you damn well know it.” He said, huffily. You laughed and took his arm, leading him up the stairs. You were the only person who could get away with treating Draco the way that you did. It was a weakness you were both well aware off.

“Fine, fine. You look  _ good _ too, Draco. Green is a good color for you.” He snorted.

“We’re Slytherin. Green is the  _ only _ color.” You couldn’t argue with that. You led him to the top of the stairs and behind the curtain that had been positioned for the two of you to hide behind. The Malfoy family had a flair for the dramatic and so the two of you wouldn’t be revealed until all of the guests had been assembled, as if they all didn’t already know what you looked like and who you were. Your faces were on all of the invitations, after all. (That had been your mother’s doing, much to Draco’s chagrin. He would be getting postcards of his own face for months.)

Narcissa came by to make sure the two of you were in place as the guests started to fill the parlor. She hugged the two of you and gave Draco a forehead kiss that made him groan in embarrassment. You could hear the room below you filling with revelers of all ages. Alcohol and greetings were passed around freely and soon it was time for the reveal. 

The sound of a spoon hitting a champagne glass filled the room, magically amplified for the sake of the crowd. There was a dulling of conversation and then a murmuring as people gathered to hear what whoever was speaking had to say. 

Lucius Malfoy cleared his throat and addressed the room. You couldn’t see him, but you could imagine him in his regal fur-lined coat addressing the crowd with a sweep of the arm holding the champagne glass that was no doubt only half full, if that. 

“Good Evening my family, my friends, we have called you all here for a wondrous occasion.” He said. Draco rolled his eyes at you and made a face.

“It’s a  _ birthday. _ ” He whispered and you elbowed him in the side.

“ _ Two _ birthdays, thank you.” 

“As you know, My son, and the [Last Name] daughter, [First Name] are soon to be of age. We invite you to celebrate not only that, but also the union of the Malfoy Family and the [Last Name] family, as our children are engaged to be married!” He said cheerfully. 

Your blood ran cold. Draco’s face dropped. 

“Wait, what?” 

Before the two of you had a chance to react, the curtain was being pulled back and the two of you were exposed to the partygoers. Your reflex was to fake it, and you did so with a flourish, hooking your arm through Draco’s and smiling brightly at the people cheering for your engagement. 

Draco followed your lead, walking to where both sets of parents were waiting for you. They presented you to the crowd and another cheer rose from the people in front of you. Your ears were ringing.  _ Engaged.  _ You knew that your parents had wanted to arrange a marriage for you, but the fake romance with Draco was a way to prevent that, not to spur it along. You had to remind yourself how to breathe. 

Your parents threw you to the wolves almost instantly. As you walked down the stairs, you were swarmed by well-wishers. A few of your friends from school hugged you and mentioned that they  _ knew _ it would happen. A few spurned lovers looked upset, but ultimately unsurprised. You threw yourself into the party, greeting people, accepting drinks, pretending like this was what you wanted all along. You were glad that they weren’t surprised because you had never been more surprised in your life.

At a lull in the party, you separated from Draco to catch your breath. You stepped out onto the cool balcony so that you could catch a breath of air. Alcohol and dancing had you overheating severely, and the cool night air was pleasant against your skin. You leaned against the railing of the balcony and took a slow, deep breath. You had been betrothed to Draco Malfoy.

Sharp footsteps sounded behind you and you jerked to attention, turning to greet whoever caught you hiding alone. You found yourself standing face to chest with one Lucius Malfoy.

“You’re not enjoying the party?” He asked, leaning against the balcony beside you. 

“Oh! It’s not that, Mr. Malfoy, I-” 

“Lucius, please. You’re an adult now.”

“Oh, thank you, Lucius. It’s not that I’m not enjoying the party, I just needed some air. Alcohol and dancing make for a stuffy room, you know.” You relaxed in your soon to be father in law’s presence, leaning against the balcony rail again. He laughed, removing his fur-lined cloak.

“You’re right about that. I thought I might melt if I stayed inside any longer. Is that really all?”

It wasn’t. You knew that it wasn’t. Lucius seemed to have an idea that it wasn’t, and yet you refused to admit it aloud.

“It is, truly. Thank you for your concern.” 

The two of you sat in silence for a long moment as you watched the peacocks strut between flitting specks of witch light on the lawn. One of the birds was limping slightly as a result of a squabble with one of the larger birds earlier that month, but it strutted all the same. You wondered why the Malfoys kept an injured bird, when normally they would replace it the second it showed any defect. 

There was a sound of shoes on stone again, though this time it was Lucius who stood. 

“Ah, Draco. I’ll allow the two of you some privacy.” He said, his voice a mixture of suggestive and amused. Draco scoffed at his father, but did not try to get the man to stay. Lucius slung his cloak over his shoulder and walked back inside, his shoes clicking sharply against the stone as he went. You didn’t watch him go, choosing instead to watch the injured bird limp after a particularly bright witchlight. It was darting quickly across the yard, far beyond the peacock, but the bird followed still.

“His name is Akansh.” Draco said, walking up next to you.

“Akansh?” You asked. He pointed out at the injured peacock. It had managed to catch up to the bright witch light and was now trying to impress it with his albino tail. It’s feathers blazed white in the dark night. With the assistance of the witch light, it managed to outshine the other peacocks in the yard. Perhaps that had been its intention all along. 

“The injured peacock. I named him Akansh. It means ‘Whole’.” You hummed. You liked that.

“That’s very sentimental of you, Malfoy.” You remarked, shifting so that you were shoulder-to-shoulder with your best friend and now fiance. He nudged you, crossing his arms on the balcony railing in front of him. 

“One of the bigger birds got to him a few weeks back. Father wanted to have him killed but... He’s a smart bird. I promised to take care of him, so I suppose I have a pet.” He sounded embarrassed at his own sentimentality. It wasn’t like a Malfoy to  _ feel _ for an animal so insignificant. You didn’t question him further. If he had wanted to tell you about the peacock sooner, he would have done so. Akansh and the witch light made their way across the lawn, pausing briefly beneath a flowering plum blossom tree before making their way to the fountain. You saw that Draco was casting under his breath, affixing the witchlight to Akansh’s tail so that the bird could move more freely. 

“Well, I like Akansh.” You said after a long silence, “He’s a smart bird.” Draco hummed his agreement and then the two of you lapsed into silence again. The party was still in full swing at your back, but no one questioned where two drunken, newly-engaged people might have disappeared to, so you enjoyed each other’s company. 

“We’re engaged.” Draco said after another long pause. The words held a heavy weight when he said them, pressing down on both of you. 

“Lot of good our fake relationship did,” You joked, “ended up in an arranged marriage all the same. They’ll likely have us doing unbreakable vows before the night’s out. Protect the family investment, prevent cold feet and all that.” Draco didn’t respond for a long moment. Internally, gears were spinning. You could feel that he was working up to something and so you let him work. 

“[First Name], we can stop this if you want to, but I need to know if you want that.” He said, suddenly serious. You looked up and he was staring at you, arms crossed defensively over his chest. He was taking a chance and opening a part of himself that he had kept shut for a long time to you. This was his chance. His terrifying, awful, badly timed chance. 

“What do you mean? Our two families together? It’s the perfect bond.” You said. 

“You don’t care about that and neither do I. Look, we were just pretending to be lovers all this time, but I’m  _ done _ pretending now. I need to know if you feel the same way about me as I feel about you.” He said. He uncrossed his arms and took one of your hands. His grey-blue eyes were wide and pleading. You could never say no to Draco. Not for any reason and certainly not in this case. Especially when it would be the wrong answer. 

“And how do you feel about me, Draco?” A familiar expression crossed Draco’s face as he realized that he had been fighting with his feelings for you for all these years without ever having voiced them. You understood him well enough that he thought you had known and decided against saying something to save him the embarrassment and heartache  of your rejection. You hadn’t known. You were his closest friend, his only confidant. Had you mistaken his pining for closeness?

Draco struggled with the thought for a long moment before it all came pouring out. He told you that he loved you. That he had always loved you and always would. He told you that he had been jealous every time you had gone on a date with another person, that he had to threaten Blaise not to invite you to the Yule Ball last year, that he pined for you. That he thought you knew. That he thought you didn’t want him. That--

You stopped him with a slow gentle kiss that stole his breath and turned his ears a bright read that rivaled even the most obnoxious Gryffindor garb. 

“Then, yes, Draco. I feel the same.” He stared at you, dumbfounded for a long moment before both of you just laughed. There was a brief moment of gleeful relief and then he was kissing you, wrapping his arms around you, making sure that this wasn’t a dream. You laughed with him, kissing him gleefully. It was a feeling you could never get tired of. 

Draco had been your first kiss. Years ago, you were roped into a game of Truth or Dare by the older Slytherin kids and they had dared him to kiss the prettiest girl in the room. He chose you (telling you later that he knew you wouldn’t mind, but assuring you that you  _ were  _ the prettiest.) and kissed you in front of everyone, but that was nothing like  _ this.  _ It felt like you had been waiting forever for this, as if every moment in your life until now had been for  _ this. _ It all seemed so obvious now. The long talks, the stolen glances, all of the time you spent together. It felt like cheating. You were engaged to the love of your life and neither of you had done anything. 

You turned back to the yard and held Draco’s hand, watching as Akansh used his newly attached Witchlight to chase moths in the dark. You leaned your head against Draco and he kissed the crown of your head. Eventually you would have to rejoin the party, but for now, you were whole.


End file.
